Fourth of July Memories

The Fourth of July always holds a special place in my heart. I grew up with most of my family (aunts, uncles, cousin and grandparents). We would all spend every holiday and birthday celebrating together. The Fourth of July was an opportunity for my family to host a big BBQ on the back deck. We would spend the afternoon eating hot dogs, fresh watermelon and homemade ice cream. I can just see my Papa making everyone laugh, my mom and Nana making sure everyone is full and the cousins playing games in the pool. This was a day where everyone was happy and content to be exactly where they were. At dusk we would all head down to the Columbia River and park my Dad's truck on the side of the road. We would all pile into the back with blankets and wait for the firework show. My grandpa lived close by so he would walk down and bring us buttered popcorn to enjoy during the show.

This is a blissful memory for me. I hope that when I have a family one day, they will be able to enjoy this tradition just as much as I did. This year I will be in Spokane for the Fourth. My housemates and I are hosting a BBQ in our backyard with hot dogs, lemonade and fresh fruit. I am excited for the red white and blue decorations and food preparation. I will miss my normal holiday traditions this year, but I will hopefully be starting new ones with friends.

Share a Fourth of July memory. I would love it hear about it.

http://glorioustreats.blogspot.com/2011/06/4th-of-july-flag-cake.html

New book, fresh apriocot and sunshine.

Last night my wonderful boss, Alan Jacob, surprised me with an opportunity to take today off! I had no plans and was excited for a restful day. I woke up to a lovely text from my friend Sara saying that she was heading to Revive coffee at 9. So, I jumped out of bed at 8:40, pulled my hair up, brushed my teeth and headed out the door. I had 2 cups of delicious drip coffee and caught up with two good friends. Afterwards, I decided to head to Barnes & Noble and bought the first Harry Potter book in hardback. I have decided that slowly I am going to own all of the books in hardback. So I made my purchase and drove home listening to Michele and Jonathan's playlist from their wedding. I cut up my apriocot that I bought at the market yesterday and read the first couple of chapters of The Sorcerer's Stone.

I love being productive in the morning and I love the sun. I am thankful for today and I want to make this day last.  I know that there will be good days and bad days, sunny days and cloudy days. My hope is that I learn to be thankful for the days that are good and faithful in the days that aren't. God never lets me go and loves me for me. I don't have to prove anything and my prayer is that I love God without expectation. I am learning to seek the Lord in my lonliness and my joy. Thank you God for this day and this moment of sun and happiness.

Embracing the night alone.

I find that I have a hard time being alone. I an uncomfortable having free time. I like to keep myself busy; work, hanging out with friends, planning coffee dates, never keeping my schedule open. I want to learn to embrace this time. Tonight I have no plans and instead of feeling sorry for myself, I decided to buy some new music, whip up some fresh guacamole and thank God for the life I live. I am thankful for this summer because it is a season of rest. Soon school will be here again and I will wish for moments like these where I can do whatever I want.

So here is a list of things to do when you are alone.
1. Listen to a Pandora station when you need new music
2. Make fresh guacamole
3. Read East of Eden or A Severe Mercy-2 of my favorite books
4. Re-decorate your room-things get boring after a while
5. Watch Julie and Julia-filled with delicious food
6. Blog!
7. Practice harmonizing to your favorite song
8. Write a note to someone who has changed your life
9. Paint your nails turquoise
10. Write a list of things you are thankful for.

Honesty and Hope

Lately, I have been struggling with my faith. I took a Psalm class from Scott Starbuck this past Spring and it completely challenged what I had formerly believed about joy and lament. Scott believes that in order for us to truly experience the joy that God intends for us, we have to first be honest about our sufferings, frustrations and questions. Christians tend to force or even fake joy, without even realizing it. We think we need to "be happy" or shrug things off. I see now that in order to have joy we have to face our sufferings head on.

I have been struggling with my relationship with God because I constantly feel guilty, scared or even frustrated with how much I sin. I don't know where God wants me or what I should be doing ever. I feel weak, insignificant and selfish. And then I read Romans 8:23-30.

²³ Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. ²⁴ For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? ²⁵ But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
 ²⁶ In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. ²⁷ And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

A hope that is seen is no hope at all. My prayer is that I continue to hope and God continues to strengthen my faith because I am weak without him. And I can do nothing without him. Last night I realized God is speaking to me but I have to be willing to admit that I need him. I have to listen and hope.