Don't waste your life on yourself.

Don't waste your life living for yourself. This is a lesson I will always be learning. We are selfish people but focusing on ours selfishness keeps us locked securley in a prison of ourselves. Rather pray that you will love others effortlessly. Give to others in big and small ways. Don't waste your life worrying about money.  I am only truly fulfilled when I am in love with God and His love overflows into a divine care for others. Only when I am willing to let God have complete control of my life am I able learn these lessons. I want to learn to love others completely, give my money freely and spend my life in thankfulness for the gifts God has given me. If you learn to look at your relationships as gifts, I think it will change your perspective on how you are treating your friends, family and acquaintances. They are not yours, you do not own anyone. Take a risk and love outside of yourself.

Mischief Managed!

http://www.etsy.com/listing/62604620/hogwarts-trio-three-5-x-7-illustration/

Today is a day to celebrate. The last Harry Potter movie in the magical series comes out tonight at midnight. I am excited to wear Harry Potter garb and be admist all of the obssessed fans. My friends are heading down the the theater early with catch phrase and Harry Potter clue to keep us busy during the 5-6 hour wait in line. I am thankful for all of the HP fans who are coming to celebrate this moment. Growing up with this masterpiece has been an incredible experience, and we owe it all to J.K Rowling. Thank you for dreaming up the best fantasy of all time. A beautiful memory that our generation will cherish forever.

Contentment in the moment

http://fromme-toyou.tumblr.com/post/4344765670/meet-me-at-the-bar

Our society is constantly moving. We are always filling our lives with "stuff." But why? Why are we embarrassed when we have nothing going on. I believe we need to change the way we view time. Instead of viewing time as something that we own, think of it as God's time. We are not in control of the hours, days or weeks. Instead of living like you have to pack everything into your summer, enjoy each moment you are a part of. Instead, think about what you are doing right now and be thankful. Don't let time consume or control yourl life but enjoy each hour for what it is, whether you are busy or not. Never live in the past or constantly look toward the future. I honestly believe that if our view of time changed, we would trust God more fully and love people genuinely. We pass up opportunities every day because we are focused on ourselves. Give your time to God and let him fill you and refresh you so that you can enjoy your life instead of wishing it away.

Ways to let go of control and enjoy your summer more fully
1. Go on a walk without your cellphone or watch
2. Don't speed-listen to music in your car and enjoy the ride
3. Read a book but don't get caught up in finishing quickly
4. Invite someone over and don't plan anything afterwards so you aren't pressed for time.
5. Pray throughout your workday that you will be thankful for your job and pray for other people
6. Learn to be okay with free time

It's not that I love America, I just love themed parties.

Elizabeth and I woke early yesterday morning to prepare for our 4th of July BBQ. We cleaned, frosted the cake and set up our festive table. I started the day out with a cup of delicious coffee at Starbucks with Michele. Afterwards, we came home and made the party happen! We barbequed burgers and hot dogs, played yard games like Ladder Ball and Corn Hole, sipped on Amber's famous ice tea and Jeremy's choice of beer, and celebrated the day in happiness. I love bringing people together and I really enjoyed all of the festivities.

You can always count on Michele to make any party look fantastic!



Hosts!

Table Spread

Jeremy, the trustee BBQ man.

Assorted Party Favors

Liz was very proud of her patriotic cake.

White rustic chairs: $9 Antique store in Coeur D'alene

Bubble wars.

More bubbles.

Caty's great form while playing Ladder Ball.

Aaron and Rebekah lounging on the hammock (the only area with shade).

Waiting for the fireworks.

More waiting.

Red, White and Blue!

Sunset

I would say it was a very successful Fourth of July.

I asked a couple of the guests write down their most memorable 4th of July activities. Here are some highlights:

Walking to the park with blankets to watch fireworks, bottle rockets in Grama's driveway, pops with cousins, campfires with Aunts & Uncles, Sparklers with best friens, late night explosions out my windown, iced cookies with sprinkles & my red polo shirt-Liz

Walking through the freedom fair on the waterfront in Tacoma, writing my name is sparklers, watching the fireworks show in Dayna's parent's bedroom, sitting on a strangers lawn surrounded by strangers but feeling like we are friends, eating hot dogs and snow cones and enjoying summer-Sara

Fathom'f of Fun Carnival rides, snake races, climbing on Bailey's roof and gettting dirty, fireworks, from my uncles Larry at my grandparent's, seeting off fireworks in our kiddie pool, throwing fireworks at a cop car at the age of 6 because my older cousin said it was a good idea, Port Orchard Waterfront Parade-Caty

Watching my mom do boat races on the lake, my dad lecturing us about how dangerous fireworks were, and lighting them anyway at a friend's house, watching fireworks over the river at Gonzaga, Lake Wilderness with Lindsay and a million people at the leech-filled lake, BBQ at a friend's house and not knowing anyone else but loving every second of it-Kathy

Going to my older sister's friend's house, Conrad-the big guy who smoke cigars, older friend's lighting off fireworks and exploding random things, thinking all of these people were really cool, making a massive bonfire with a can of wax in the middle causing the biggest explosion of fire I have ever seen in real life (because I've seen bigger in movies of course). -Monte

Fourth of July Memories

The Fourth of July always holds a special place in my heart. I grew up with most of my family (aunts, uncles, cousin and grandparents). We would all spend every holiday and birthday celebrating together. The Fourth of July was an opportunity for my family to host a big BBQ on the back deck. We would spend the afternoon eating hot dogs, fresh watermelon and homemade ice cream. I can just see my Papa making everyone laugh, my mom and Nana making sure everyone is full and the cousins playing games in the pool. This was a day where everyone was happy and content to be exactly where they were. At dusk we would all head down to the Columbia River and park my Dad's truck on the side of the road. We would all pile into the back with blankets and wait for the firework show. My grandpa lived close by so he would walk down and bring us buttered popcorn to enjoy during the show.

This is a blissful memory for me. I hope that when I have a family one day, they will be able to enjoy this tradition just as much as I did. This year I will be in Spokane for the Fourth. My housemates and I are hosting a BBQ in our backyard with hot dogs, lemonade and fresh fruit. I am excited for the red white and blue decorations and food preparation. I will miss my normal holiday traditions this year, but I will hopefully be starting new ones with friends.

Share a Fourth of July memory. I would love it hear about it.

http://glorioustreats.blogspot.com/2011/06/4th-of-july-flag-cake.html

New book, fresh apriocot and sunshine.

Last night my wonderful boss, Alan Jacob, surprised me with an opportunity to take today off! I had no plans and was excited for a restful day. I woke up to a lovely text from my friend Sara saying that she was heading to Revive coffee at 9. So, I jumped out of bed at 8:40, pulled my hair up, brushed my teeth and headed out the door. I had 2 cups of delicious drip coffee and caught up with two good friends. Afterwards, I decided to head to Barnes & Noble and bought the first Harry Potter book in hardback. I have decided that slowly I am going to own all of the books in hardback. So I made my purchase and drove home listening to Michele and Jonathan's playlist from their wedding. I cut up my apriocot that I bought at the market yesterday and read the first couple of chapters of The Sorcerer's Stone.

I love being productive in the morning and I love the sun. I am thankful for today and I want to make this day last.  I know that there will be good days and bad days, sunny days and cloudy days. My hope is that I learn to be thankful for the days that are good and faithful in the days that aren't. God never lets me go and loves me for me. I don't have to prove anything and my prayer is that I love God without expectation. I am learning to seek the Lord in my lonliness and my joy. Thank you God for this day and this moment of sun and happiness.

Embracing the night alone.

I find that I have a hard time being alone. I an uncomfortable having free time. I like to keep myself busy; work, hanging out with friends, planning coffee dates, never keeping my schedule open. I want to learn to embrace this time. Tonight I have no plans and instead of feeling sorry for myself, I decided to buy some new music, whip up some fresh guacamole and thank God for the life I live. I am thankful for this summer because it is a season of rest. Soon school will be here again and I will wish for moments like these where I can do whatever I want.

So here is a list of things to do when you are alone.
1. Listen to a Pandora station when you need new music
2. Make fresh guacamole
3. Read East of Eden or A Severe Mercy-2 of my favorite books
4. Re-decorate your room-things get boring after a while
5. Watch Julie and Julia-filled with delicious food
6. Blog!
7. Practice harmonizing to your favorite song
8. Write a note to someone who has changed your life
9. Paint your nails turquoise
10. Write a list of things you are thankful for.

Honesty and Hope

Lately, I have been struggling with my faith. I took a Psalm class from Scott Starbuck this past Spring and it completely challenged what I had formerly believed about joy and lament. Scott believes that in order for us to truly experience the joy that God intends for us, we have to first be honest about our sufferings, frustrations and questions. Christians tend to force or even fake joy, without even realizing it. We think we need to "be happy" or shrug things off. I see now that in order to have joy we have to face our sufferings head on.

I have been struggling with my relationship with God because I constantly feel guilty, scared or even frustrated with how much I sin. I don't know where God wants me or what I should be doing ever. I feel weak, insignificant and selfish. And then I read Romans 8:23-30.

²³ Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. ²⁴ For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? ²⁵ But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
 ²⁶ In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. ²⁷ And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

A hope that is seen is no hope at all. My prayer is that I continue to hope and God continues to strengthen my faith because I am weak without him. And I can do nothing without him. Last night I realized God is speaking to me but I have to be willing to admit that I need him. I have to listen and hope.

Humbled by my best friend in life.

Always give people the benefit of the doubt. I am not always good at doing this, but Jeremy is. He has taught me to love people and always know that my first impression of someone is ALWAYS wrong. And who am I to judge? I feel like we are often arrogant and subconciously think we are better than other people. But, Jeremy has humbled me because he is the one person in my life who puts others first, listens intently to anyone who talks to him and doesn't judge. I hope to one day have these qualities that Christ has given Jeremy Dean.

This morning.

I like to open my window in the morning so I can hear the birds talking to each other and the wind rustling the trees as if to say "Good morning!" I like hearing the cars woosh by and the bugs buzzing around. All of these sounds remind me that the world is alive. The mornings are a time of reflection for me. Itis a time to sit down and remember that the Lord is the creator, the sustainer and the giver of life.

This morning I decided to brew a cup of declicious coffee from the shop (thanks to Michele). As I sip my coffee I am reminded of my blessings...which are abundant. Thank you Lord for this day. Thank you for the sun, the wind, my coffee, my family, Jeremy, my friends and this season of rest. I don't want to wish it away or try to make myself busy. Teach me to love the time that I have alone, especially this morning.

The beginnings of summer

 1. Dinner with my housemates, Lauren and Corey. Conversations consiting of what Harry Potter house we would be in, which Lord of the Rings character we would be, and what kind of animals we would be.
2. Watching Thor with friends and singing loudly in the car on the way home.
3. Bike rides in the pouring rain with Liz.
4. Light pictures with my housemates.
5. Home made pizza with the Pasmas on the South Hill
6. Cinnamon rolls and tea for breakfast with my lovely Nana.
7.  Long walks in the park with Ali Johnston.
8. Sleepovers and Notting Hill with Holli Godare.
9. Reading East of Eden in the sun.
10. Drinking a soy vanilla latte outside of Starbucks on a breezy day.
11. Baking Delicious chocolate chip cookies with Jo Jo.
13. Discovering Paradise tea in Kennewick, Washington.

A quiet joy.

I am constantly reminded through prayer that I will never be fulfilled by anything in this world. Happiness does not come from a life filled with appointments, tests, schedules and internships. Happiness does not come from reading books or drinking tea or even spending time with people. Happiness does not exist but something even better does...joy. Joy comes from a life of purpose in Jesus Christ.

I am remided of this when I think the "next thing" in life will be better. But, then summer comes and I no longer have any papers to write, tests to take or grades to stress about...but I am still not fulfilled. Last night I read the first few chapters in Romans and was encourged by a life of righteousness through faith. Christ gives me joy...joy in reading, in loving others and in loving Him. But the things of this world do not bring happiness in themselves.

I want to live a life of purpose. Looking back on this year I am reminded of my mistakes and failures that God turned into opportunities for growth and for purpose. I am nothing without Christ. When I am reminded of my true fulfillment, that is when I can find joy in reading a book for fun. I find joy in loving my family and giving to others. The world tells us to live for ourselves but selfishness only brings sadness. This summer I pray that my life is filled with purpose, growth and joy. I want to know God who gives me a desire to know other people.

A coffee a day is more important to us than human life.

I am sitting at the Starbucks on 395 and Clearwater in the Tri-Cities. I have seen many cars come through the drive through with their Grande non-fat white mochas. I also see a man on the side of the street asking for money. He goes up to cars and either people look away nonchalantly or people drive right passed him. In doing this we are saying that we will spend $4.95 a day on coffee but we cannot give anything to someone who is really in need. Why are we so focused on ourselves? I am not saying that I am guilt-free because I definitely have my fair share of coffee and I have turned my head away from poverty. I believe though in the importance of giving. We have enough money to give but we would rather spend it on movie tickets, vanilla lattes and trinkets we don't need. These things are not bad in themselves, but when it comes more important than other human beings I have to question what is more important to me.

Some pictures of the big day!

Burlap, lavendar, dance moves and wedding vows.

Michele and Jonathan had their wedding yesterday.

It was perfect. The weekend started out with a lovely breakfast at Michele and Jonathan's new apartment Friday morning. Jonathan made his famous waffles and I was able to meet all of the groomsmen. At 11:30 the bridesmaids left to get our nails done and pick up some last minute decorations. We headed to the White Room and put up chairs, placed the burlap table clothes on the cocktail tables and filled the room with tea lights. At 4:30 we had the rehersal and then walked to Mizuna where the rehersal dinner was taking place. Michele was beautiful in her blue polka-dot dress. We ate ahi salad and drank full glasses of wine.

The bridesmaids left Mizuna at 8:30 to head over to Rain, a cocktail lounge. Michele opened her lingerie as Joelle and Sally made all of us take chocolate cake shots. I especially enjoyed hanging out with Joyanna and Leah as we laughed all the way back to the hotel. Michele, Allie, Sally and I all stayed at the Davenport that nice in the most expensive/fluffy bed I've ever stayed in.

Michele and I woke up really early. We both couldn't sleep any longer. It was April 9th, 2011 and Michele was marrying the attractive, talented Jonathan Pasma. Michele and I like to go on walks when we get anxious so there we were walking around before the big day.

The day was a whirlwind. We picked up the most beautiful flowers, had lots of coffee, inhaled tons of hairspray and laughed and cried with the bridesmaids as we got ready. The White room was filled with the smell of lavendar and candles. Michele looked absolutely beautiful and classy in her white dress, 1950's veil and red lipstick. Jonathan could not even handle himself. He sang her a song her wrote especially for her, I cried my eyes out as I read Michele my toast and Jeremy and I danced like crazy people on the dance floor.

I will never forget that day. I love you, Michele. I could never have asked for a better sister, friend and role model. Have fun on your honeymoon. You have made my life so rich.

Highlights of 2011 so far...

1. Appetizers with Jeremy on New Years Eve
2. Writing papers for my Jan Term class at the Service Station
3. Spending the night with a wonderful Hmong family
4. Wine glasses for Valentines day
5. The movie Morning Glory
6. Cups of coffee in the morning
7. Convictions in Psalms class
8. Smoking a pipe with Jeremy Dean
9. Dreaming of life after college
10. My lovely small group dinners on Tuesday nights
11. Pop music, good food and light hearted conversations with Liz
12. Walking in the rain
13.Talking about life with Lauren at Le Petit Chat (and unlimited coffee!)
13.Huckleberry Cream tea
15.Realizing college is not about grades
16.Preparing for Michele's Market Fresh wedding
17.Taking baths when I'm stressed or sick
18. Michele's bridal shower
19. Growing with Jeremy
20.Portland trip where Caty hit a home run and Lauren, Liz, Anna and I explored downtown.

Bigger than me.

When someone you know dies, you are forced to look at life differently. Death reminds me that humans are fragile. When someone dies you don't want people to tell you that it will be okay, that God is in control and that this is his plan. I am fully aware that God is in control but that doesn't mean that I am just supposed to  be okay. I want to worship and love a God who wants me to be honest and real. I believe God is personal. Life is hard and losing someone is hard.

I believe that life has a purpose. Death also forces me to think about my relationship with God and with people. Times like these remind me that I have the opportunity to take part in God's plan because of Christ. My prayer is that I learn to live a life of patience, selflessness and honesty. The world keeps telling me otherwise, but I have to believe in something bigger than me, bigger than life and ultimately bigger than death.

I love you Grandma Noble.

A bleak, snowy day.

Snow. Snow has been falling from the Spokane clouds all day. Grey skies. The sun has decided not to reveal her ray of light for some time. Yet, we all know Spring will come soon enough. There is no doubt in my mind that Spring will come with her golden skies, grassy hills and fresh flowers. But until that day, I wait in the warm quietness of my home. Today I bought a new book, cleaned my house, put some chicken in the crockpot for dinner and listened to new music. Some winter days can be more than just grey and cold.

Adventures

The upcoming months are full of exciting adventures. In March me and seven other interns from New Community are spending a week in Chicago. I have never been to Chicago, or the mid-west for that matter which makes this adventure even better. April brings hope of warmer weather, but most importantly Michele's wedding. Modern and Market Fresh is the theme. I couldn't be happier for my beautiful older sister. as her and Jonathan start a life together. With May comes the end of another school year and the beginning of another summer in Spokane.

God is challenging me so much right now, in each adventure. Whether it be through praise or lament, friendship or lonliness, strenght or weakness, God remains the same. I am always running from God, but what I really want is true fulfillment from Him. Life is confusing but I am learning the importance of being honest with myself, with other people and with God. My prayer is that God will continue to shape me and that I would be a mindful, loving follower of Christ.